Bix, Mom misses you!

When you were a child, you had a round and strong body, a big smile on your face, and two little protrusions on the tips of your ears. I would laugh and call them your little antennas. Now I hope you can adjust the antennas to hear me one last time. Mom wants to tell you that you are the perfect little child in my heart.

When you were two years old, you could already do somersaults and back flips. I always thought you had special powers. At three years old, you were already full of humor. One time we thought you hurt your arm, so I put a small cast to help you recover. Turns out, you were playing a prank on us the whole time. We only realized three days later when you suddenly turned around pretending to be hurt, only for you to turn back around with a huge smile on your face and your “injured” arm in the air. On the Meydenbauer stage, you performed as a penguin and jumped around so cutely that after the show was over, everyone was rushing to take photos with you. You have been the celebrity in our family since you were a child.

When you were little, you were a super good kid. I would always take you to the supermarket to buy you some candy as a reward and you would always ask, "Can I also pick one for my brother?"

As the younger brother, you would always wear your older brother’s hand-me-downs. Whenever I would help your older brother buy new clothes, you would say, "If my brother can't wear it, it belongs to me," and show an expectant smile. You would never fight, grab, and had no desire for material things.

When you were in the first grade, you returned to Taiwan to live with your grandma and uncle in Taipei to learn Mandarin.

Your uncle said that you played with the butterfly car every day, riding it in circles in the living room, holding oranges in your hands, peeling and eating them at the same time. He said you could finish a whole bucket in just an hour. Truly the fruit king! Also, I heard that you missed home and always dreamt about airplanes. In your dreams, the airplane would flood leaving it unable to fly. The next day, grandma would notice you wet the bed!

When I returned to Taiwan to visit you, I took you to the dentist to clean your teeth. You were scared and kept shouting "brother, brother". I am your mother, standing by your side and feeling a little ashamed. Your brother seemed to have become your main source of support.

Remember the story of Beard Zhang? We were still in Taiwan and decided to go for a walk after dinner. Not long into the walk, you said, “Mom, I haven’t eaten lunch yet”. I smiled and said, “we had just had dinner”. But you insisted that you didn’t eat lunch that day and wanted to eat Beard Zhang. Beard Zhang had a location nearby at Kunyang Station, but I took you the opposite way in hopes that you would get tired and give up and go home. However, you were too persistent. We walked for so long we hit the other Bear Zhang restaurant on the other side of town, so I had to take you in to eat. Unfortunately, Mom wasn’t prepared for your determination and didn’t bring any money with me, so I had to call your uncle to come rescue us with some money for the meal.

I liked the names you would choose for your things. You called our Roomba robot Zander. In middle school, we had three guinea pigs. Yours was named Scary because he was always scared and even peed on the way home the day you got him. Over summer vacation when you went to China, I lost them and made you cry. I'm so sorry! Now I hope you can find them.

You were such a hard worker. You would work on your homework late into the night, and you’d always make yourself stand up and do jumping jacks to keep yourself awake until your homework was done. Mom would get distressed, but also pleased!

You joined the Scouts and earned the highest honor – Eagle Scout. You played golf, joined the high school golf team, and became one of the best players on the team. Not only were you a single digit handicap player, but you also got a double eagle (Albatross) in 2021 and a hole-in-one in 2022. What a record that is!

You loved cello. You cried when you didn’t make Chamber Orchestra on your first try. But you worked hard throughout the next year and made it in the following year. You were so excited that you didn’t know how to describe it. You are such a serious person and have such high self-expectations.

In mother's heart, you are always giving. You participated in Scouting activities, helped with various service projects, formed a band to perform at nursing homes, and participated in Sacred Road during multiple summers to help repair roofs in the Native American community; paint exterior walls; and help at kid’s programs, etc., all kinds of help. As long as you can help out, you’d always say yes immediately.

Later, you became interested in computer game programming and often participated in competitions, earning many awards along the way. You went online to find suitable partners for graphic design and music creation, organized and led multiple teams to participate in game design competitions. Often in these competitions, they only gave 3-4 days for you to submit the work. I watched you stay up late in meetings to discuss, brainstorm, and program every day until the game was finished. I could feel your sense of accomplishment after submission, your excitement when you won awards, and your determination to keep winning. Mom was so happy. You have won many trophies and prizes, even a World Cup competition, where you won third place and received job opportunities. Every time you won an award, you were always the first to tell me and let me share your glory. I am always happy for you!

You majored in informatics at the University of Washington. Your GPA was 3.9, which is close to the perfect score of 4.0. Despite your resume being full of information, I feel that it is not enough to show the real you. You weren’t always the smartest, but you were always the hardest working.

I encouraged you to go to Taiwan for a summer internship! You did and were happy to be independent when you left home. Everything was so beautiful originally. I felt so lucky to have a child like you, thank you for being my son…., but it suddenly came to an end!

Uncle told me on that day you wanted to go on a small run before dinner. On the way home for dinner, you pushed a button on the crosswalk and waited for the red light to turn green. When the light turned green, you walked out, a towing truck rushed through the red light and hit …..

My dear son, I did not see anything wrong on your body, but your lungs were full of blood … you must not have been able to breath… otherwise, you would never have given up.

You often said YOLO - you only live once. You only live once. A life without adventure is not a life lived. I don't regret encouraging you to go to Taiwan. I just encouraged you to go abroad, but I didn’t encourage you to leave the earth. You always achieved more than we expected. Mom said go to Taiwan, but you did not just go to Taiwan, you went directly to God. I hope you can create a program that allows you to come back and see mom sometime.

Bix, Mom misses you. I had always imagined that you would get married and have children in the future, and that our family would get together at least twice a year, play golf, and travel around the world... I could also help you train your children to play golf...

Before returning to Taiwan, I picked you up from UW dormitory and took you home. We chatted in the car. We reminisced about your time in kindergarten. The teacher asked the class to write down their mother’s height, age, and hobbies. You said your mother was 17 feet tall, 88 years old, and likes to do dishes. After hearing this, you laughed unbelievably and wildly. Mom also told you that I kept all your childhood works in a box and will give it to you as gifts when you get married.

How I hope this is all a prank like when you were three and that you will get up again and tell me...Mom, I am here, I am not leaving...

Now, I hope you find comfort and a partner in God. I hope you can meet Steve Jobs and discuss future technologies with him. I hope you are happy and stress-free. I hope you can show your talents, score a hole-in-one every day, and not need to stay up late writing programs... Thank you for spending these 20 unforgettable years with me. I will miss you forever, my son!

Finally, I thought: is there anything else I can do for you? I want to help you set up a foundation. A volunteer group to promote and improve transportation, like Sacred Road. I know you'll love doing this with your life. There is also a little bit of mother's selfishness hidden in doing this. I want to extend your life and feel that you have never left. We can do something together to comfort my heartache from missing you! Thank you, Bix! I know that you are a good angel and are always watching over each of us! Love you son. Forever and ever!

Sincerely,
May Wang

If you are willing to help me complete this matter with Bix, I hope you can leave your contact information here. Let’s find a way to do it together. Thanks!